By Chris Karageorge

sfgenreGrant Reynolds likes to describe himself as a “traditional bloke, middle-aged and a meat eater”, which is to say he eats any and all kinds of red meat. 

“Just don’t get any of that plant-based lefty shit near me, bunch of soy sipping snowflakes!” he often proclaims, loudly enough for everyone to hear, and loudly enough to get the reactions he wanted from those so “easily offended.” 

One Friday, after his conference meeting with the other partners in the business, an enticing invitation arrived, addressed to Grant.

Humanus Esca - Haud Bovis


Mr. Grant Reynolds and distinguished friends. 

We welcome you to try our award winning steaks and meats at our revolutionary steakhouse.

Compliments of your friends at Con. Science Systems.

“Bet your bottom dollar I’ll be there, yes, yes, okay, I’ll bring a couple of reds and we’ll get a cab there and back. Hey if they’re paying I’ll leave the reds at home then! See you then mate!”


Grant, Ross, Gary and Tony sat around a table at the renowned steakhouse. Their Friday night shirts, a little snug, a little untucked and a little unbuttoned at the top. 

“...And then this bloke comes in and says ‘I’ll have ten of them!’” exploded Grant as the others roared with laughter at the punchline.

A slight hush came across the table as the waitress brought menus to the group, as well as the wine menu. 

“Gentlemen, as it is your first time here I will guide you through the menu and also go through tonight’s special.” She gently clasped her hands and made eye contact with everyone at the table.

“Our menu is organised in a complimentary manner where we have suggested pairings across our entrees and main steak meals. You’ll also note suggested wine accompaniments for each piece of meat. Tonight’s special is actually our house speciality, Humanus Esca sous vide served with a mustard sauce, thrice cooked potatoes, heirloom carrots and baby peas. I’ll return shortly for any questions and your orders.” She left with a smile and disappeared into the kitchen without a sound.

“I’ve got a suggested pairing, me and her, that’ll be tonight’s special!” Grant planted his hands on the table and kicked the table leg. They all snickered and someone began a retelling of their last escapade to Bali. 


“Gents, that was…” Grant had to pause to catch his breath and add emphasis to how much he loved this meal. “...the best steak I’ve ever had. Hands down. I cannot even compare it to anything else.” He mopped up the last of the mustard sauce with the table’s third sourdough loaf and was pleased he ordered the Humanus Esca. 

As the waitress glided over to the table Grant caught her attention when she collected his plate. 

“You must tell the chef, the manager, everyone, that steak was unbelievable. I have never, and believe me I love my meat,” he swallowed on the word meat to get the rest of the flavour into him, “I have never had anything that tasted so good.” 

“Oh we are pleased to hear that Grant. As you were invited here tonight the chef and manager would love to hear your feedback, and would be interested in a tour of the kitchen.” 

The table chortled with the thought of the grand tour and Ross, Gary or Tony, one of them, made a joke about it being Grant’s “FIRST TIME in a kitchen”. 


The group stopped in their tracks when they were introduced to the manager and owner of the restaurant. Professor Lyndon extended his hand and smiled charismatically to each of them. 

“So, are you a doctor or something as well as a restaurateur?” Grant quizzed the white coat. 

“I most certainly am. I find it fascinating to bring my knowledge of the medical world and science into the kitchen, it gives me such hope for the future of food,” beamed Professor Lyndon. 

“And here I am talking about exciting things and forgetting to introduce our head chef, Enoch Huntley,” continued Lyndon as he waved his hand over to a cool room door where the chef had just left. 

Again, much like the restaurateur and professor, this head chef looked out of place in the exemplary steakhouse. Strangely glossy hair that was kept in place immaculately with a good lacquering of hairspray. A skin tone akin to the warm hue a computer monitor switches to for night time, and the smell, there was an odd smell about the chef, something sour and vinegar-like. 

“Would you like to see how we prepare the meat?” Enoch asked the gentleman.

“Yeah…” Grant replied, with some hesitation in his voice. 


As the group passed the cool room door they realised it was no cool room. It was a lab. 

“There is no limit to our progressiveness here at Humanus Esca — Haud Bovis. All of our meat is grown on site — no animal had to die to give you the cuts of meat tonight.” Lyndon was excited now. Showing the group all the cuts of meat they were growing and the meals they were creating with each cut. 

“This is scary science. This isn’t right mate,” said Grant, “Besides, what’s wrong with grabbing cattle, slaughtering it and cutting the steak off that way? You lot have gone too far, all about conservation and protection. I’ll tell you what will solve it, stop selling our stock to internationals so there’s enough here for us, if they want meat so bad, they can raise their own.” Grant was digging his heels in, folding his arms and the meat sweats had kicked in. A slight glisten beaded on his forehead.

“I assure you, this meat is clean, safe and apparently you said it was the best thing you had ever tasted.” Lyndon stared back through his thick glasses, hands behind his back. “Tell me...what will we do, when all the animals are gone? What meat will we eat then?”

“When all the animals are gone...that’s never going to happen! When and if that happens the planet will collapse, ages away!”

“Perhaps…” interrupted Enoch. “You would like to see where your meat came from…from the meal you had.”

“One of these petri dishes here mate, you blokes already showed me.” snorted Grant.

“Oh no no no. You see, the Humanus Esca is something special. Please, come.” Enoch waved the group over to the back of the lab where a large body of meat was mounted in a sterile box.

“This is the meat you didn’t know you missed, meat we didn’t know we had and meat we will always have. Every one of our restaurants serves this, all our labs supply the greatest steakhouses in this country. When the animals eventually leave us, we will be ok. You’ll never have to worry about meat again. Ever.” 

Grant’s eye twitched and his stomach gurgled as he looked at the meat growing in the glass box. 

Humanus Esca - Haud Bovis

Human Food — No Bull

An entire human thigh and leg was growing and twitching in front of the group. 

“It is completely sustainable, I assure you.”

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About the Author

Chris Karageorge

chris karageorge 200Chris Karageorge is a lover, brother, son, neighbour and a keen observer of all things in sight. 

He reads, writes and cooks in his spare time and dreams of coffee darker than a moonless night. 

He is from Melbourne, Victoria and can be found walking his pug Monty during the weekends.


AntiSF & The ASFF

AntipodeanSF supports the ASFF

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Please visit the ASFF website and consider joining for up-to-date info about Australian SF cons, awards, competitions, and to receive the Foundation's newsletter, Instrumentality, and more.


The AntipodeanSF Radio Show


  • Publishing News

    KJ Hannah Greenberg's newest book, Owmapow Rides Again, launches Jan. 2nd.

    Find out more at her website:

AntiSF's Production Crew

nuke conflux 2017 200Ion Newcombe is the editor and publisher of AntipodeanSF, Australia’s longest running online speculative fiction magazine, regularly issued since January 1998, and conceived back around November 2007. He has been a zealous reader and occasional writer of SF since his childhood in the 1960s, and even sold a few stories here and there back in the '90s.

“Nuke”, who it turns out loves editing more than writing, lives in the New South Wales North Coast holiday destination of Nambucca Heads, where he is self-employed in IT training, computer support, desktop publishing, editing, writing, and website implementation. He is also the resident tech-head, skeptic, and board member of community radio station 2NVR, where he produces a number of shows including The AntipodeanSF Radio Show.


mark web 200Mark Webb's midlife crisis came in the form of attempting to write speculative fiction at a very slow pace. His wife maintains this is a good outcome considering the more expensive and cliched alternatives. Evidence of Mark's attempts to procrastinate in his writing, including general musings and reviews of books he has been reading, can be found at

One of Mark’s very best forms of writing procrastination is to produce the eBook series for AntipodeanSF, which he has been doing since issue 175.


In The Next Issue...

Coming In Issue 281

Arrival Date
By Stephanie Koorey

Far From the Tree
By Tim Borella

Friday Afternoon, Third Trimester
By Emma Louise Gill

By Ben F. Blitzer

By Brian Biswas

Mater Tenebrarum
By Keech Ballard

Mr. Denton Explores the Universe
By Andrew Kozma

Property Acquisitions
By Chad Bolling

By Andrew Dunn

The Order of Things
By Chris Karageorge

By PS Cottier

AntipodeanSF January 2022


Speculative Fiction
ISSN 1442-0686

Online Since Feb 1998

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Download AntiSF E-Book

Epub version:

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AntiSF's Narration Team

carolyn eccles 100

Carolyn's work spans devising, performance, theatre-in-education and a collaborative visual art practice.

She tours children's works to schools nationally with School Performance Tours, is a member of the Bathurst physical theatre ensemble Lingua Franca and one half of darkroom — a visual arts practice with videographer Sean O'Keeffe.

(Photo by Jeremy Belinfante) 

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pixie willo 100Pixie is a voice actor, cabaret performer & slam poet From the Blue Mountains in NSW.

She enjoys writing short fiction, plays for radio and stage as well as her own brand of weird poetry.

She hosts the 'Off-Beet Poetry Slam' held bi-monthly in Katoomba.

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mark english 100Mark is an astrophysicist and space scientist who worked on the Cassini/Huygens mission to Saturn. Following this he worked in computer consultancy, engineering, and high energy research (with a stint at the JET Fusion Torus).

All this science hasn't damped his love of fantasy and science fiction. It has, however, ruined his enjoyment of rainbows, colourful flames on romantic log fires, and rings around the moon. He has previously been published in Stupefying Stories Showcase, Everyday Fiction, Escape Pod, Perihelion and also on AntipodeanSF where he is part of the narration team.

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alistair lloyd 200Alistair Lloyd is a Melbourne based writer and narrator who has been consuming good quality science fiction and fantasy most of his life.

You may find him on Twitter as <@mr_al> and online at <>.


ed erringtonAlthough a writer of the baby boom persuasion, Ed has not boomed for quite a while.

He lives with his wife plus a menagerie of non-domesticated — native Australian animals intropical North Queensland.

His writing within the ‘real’ science fiction context of COVID-19 is intermingled by long night sky vigils — searching for pesky aliens intent on maintaining their social distance to the nth degree.

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sarah pratt 200Sarah Pratt is an avid fiction writer and a Marketing Consultant.

She is currently working on her first novel but loves diving into short stories to bring a little lightness, intrigue or humour to the day.

Her work has appeared in Sponge Magazine and The Commuting Book.

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garry dean narratorGarry Dean lives on the Mid Coast of New South Wales Australia, and has been a fan of SF for most of his natural life. Being vision impaired, he makes good use of voice recognition and text to speech in order to write. Many of his stories have appeared in AntipodeanSF over the years, and his love of all things audio led him to join the narration team in 2017.

You can read examples of Garry's fiction on his website <>

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geraldine borella 200Geraldine Borella writes adult short stories and stories for children and has been published in anthologies for both. In 2018, one of her children’s short stories placed second in The Buzz Words Short Story Prize and she won an ASA Emerging Writer’s Mentorship. She currently works part-time as a hospital pharmacist and as an online creative writing tutor.

She’s fascinated by stories that expand upon today’s technology, addressing the moral and ethical issues that might arise. Equally, she enjoys the creative freedom that writing for children allows. Right now, she’s writing a young adult novel, reworking a middle grade novel and writing adult short stories when inspiration strikes. She lives with her husband, Tim, in Yungaburra, Far North Queensland and dreams of one day taking a European gap year.

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timonthy gwyn 100Timothy Gwyn is a professional pilot in Canada, where he flies to remote communities. During a lull in his flying career, he was a radio announcer for three years, and he is also an author.

In addition to short stories at AntipodeanSF and, his SF novel is available internationally in print and ebook formats. "Avians" draws on his love of alternative aviation to tell the tale of a girl who runs away from home to join a cadre of glider pilots on a world without metal or fossil fuels.

On Twitter, he is @timothygwyn, and his blogs are at <>.

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lauriebell 2 200Laurie Bell lives in Melbourne, Australia. She was that girl you found with her nose always buried in a book. She has been writing ever since she was a little girl and first picked up a pen. From books to short stories, radio plays to snippets of ideas and reading them aloud to anyone who will listen.

She is the author of The Butterfly Stone and The Tiger's Eye (YA/Fantasy) White Fire (Sci-Fi) and The Good, the Bad and the Undecided (a unique collection of short stories set during the events of White Fire/Sci-Fi). 

You can read more of her work on her blog <> Look for her on Facebook <> or Twitter: <@LaurienotLori>

Rambles, writing and amusing musings

Smile! laugh out loud! enjoy the following


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The AntipodeanSF Radio Show

AntiSF Radio Show

antipod-show-50The AntipodeanSF Radio Show delivers audio from the pages of this magazine.

The weekly program features the stories from recently published issues, usually narrated by the authors themselves.

Listen to the latest episode now:

The AntipodeanSF Radio Show is also broadcast on community radio, 2NVR, 105.9FM every Saturday evening at 8:30pm.

You can find every broadcast episode online here: 

SF Quote

If your God is everywhere, if He is always watching, why should your people make houses to go to worship Him? Faced with an all-seeing, everywhere-being God, I would think what is needed is a place to hide.

Tad Williams, Caliban's Hour

The Contributors

rhiannon stevensRhiannon Stevens is a professional game designer and illustrator originally from New Zealand.

In her spare time, she writes and illustrates an ongoing xenofiction series which is primarily published through her website.

She lives and works in Brisbane.


michael j leach 200Michael J. Leach <@m_jleach> is a writer and academic who lives in Bendigo on unceded Dja Dja Wurrung Country.

Michael enjoys writing about science. His science poems reside in Meniscus, Rabbit, Cordite,Consilience, Pangyrus, the 2021 Hippocrates Prize Anthology (The Hippocrates Press, 2021), and elsewhere.

He has published a sci-fi short story in Painted Words 2017 (Bendigo TAFE,2017) and penned two science-themed plays performed by Bendigo Theatre Company.

Michael’s first book is "Chronicity" (Melbourne Poets Union, 2020). You can read more about Michael’s work on his website: <>


sr malone 200S.R Malone is a writer living just outside Edinburgh, Scotland.

He has been published in Synthetic Reality Magazine, 365 Tomorrows and Entropy-Squared.

When he is not writing or reading, he likes to spend time with his family and dog, going for walks in the Scottish wilderness.

Get in touch on Instagram: <s.r_malone>.

chris karageorge 200Chris Karageorge is a lover, brother, son, neighbour and a keen observer of all things in sight. 

He reads, writes and cooks in his spare time and dreams of coffee darker than a moonless night. 

He is from Melbourne, Victoria and can be found walking his pug Monty during the weekends.


rudy diaz 200A Physicist in Engineer’s clothing, Rudy worked 20 years in the Defense Aerospace Industry, from performing Lightning Protection analysis on the Space Shuttle to the design of Radar Absorbing Materials. He then joined Academia as a Professor of Electrical Engineering, where for another 20 years he attempted to infect unsuspecting students with a love for Maxwell’s equations.

Since High School he has spent most of his free time either writing Science Fiction or trying to figure out how to make Science Fiction a reality. (His students' latest work has led to the realisation of efficient RF antennas that radiate using true magnetic (not electric) currents.)

His speculative fiction short stories have appeared in Residential Aliens, Ray Gun Revival, The Untold Podcast, and Antipodean SF. He blogs on the subjects of Science, Religion, and their intersection. The rest of his work is in the peer reviewed Physics and Engineering literature.

Rudy has also been involved in Jail Ministry for about 30 years. He and his wife Marcy live in Phoenix, Arizona.

Links: <>

col hellmuthCol Hellmuth lives a quiet, uncomplicated life, off-grid in the Daintree rainforest of Far North Queensland.

He has scratched out a living in a variety of different jobs (and locations) over the years; these days he scratches out words in various sequences, and dreams of a day when he might be able to convert some of these ramblings into food.

When he is not writing or enslaved at work he is usually found bumming around his local beach dodging crocs in his kayak or jamming on the blues-harp.

He doesn't have any fancy letters after his name, or a pet cat, but does read a lot.


ishmael soledad 200Ishmael, a regular contributor to Antipodean SF, hails from Brisbane.

His flash and short science fiction have appeared in Aphelion, Far Cry Magazine, Planet Web Zine, Schlock! Webzine, and Unrealpoloitik!, and are published in his two short story collections "Hawking Radiation" and "Sex and The Single Cosmonaut".

In 2021 his debut novel, "Sha'Kert: End of Night", was released through Temple Dark Books of Ireland.

You can connect with me on Twitter <@Ishmael_Soledad>.


Tony Steven Williams was born in Penzance, Cornwall, UK (that’s right, the one with the pirates!).

He eventually saw the light and became an Antipodean, emigrating to Adelaide in the last millennium.

Tony and his artist wife now live in Canberra.

He is a short-fiction writer, poet and songwriter with work published in anthologies, newspapers, print and online magazines, and broadcast on the radio.

He writes across the genres but has not yet settled down to any particular species; however, SF is a very frequent visitor both in his short stories and his poetry.

His debut poetry book "Sun and Moon, Light and Dark" was published by Ginninderra Press in (2018).


botond t 200Sometimes I can see what others don't.

Sometimes I listen to the silence and Iknow there is way too much of it down here in the countryside.

All the trees grass wooden gates and sleepwalkers are letting me down.

Very rarely I go out to thefront yard in the night and look at the stars. And I can feel in my guts it is allgoing to sink down the drain.

I look at the photo of my nephew whom I have not seen for 5 years.

I look into the mirror and see my white hair at 45.

Then I stare at the cross on the wall and I want to puke.

Somebody has already decided for me in a nice kind of way.

Too many pieces of the puzzle missing.

ps cottier 200PS Cottier is a poet who lives in Canberra, with a particular interest in speculative poetry.

She has been published widely at home and in Canada, England, New Zealand and the USA.

Two of her horror poems were finalists in the Australian Shadows Awards for 2020. Her latest books are Monstrous, which is a volume of speculative poems, and Utterly, which is non-genre.

PS Cottier is the Poetry Editor at The Canberra Times and blogs at <>


kj hannah greenberg 200KJ Hannah Greenberg has been playing with words for an awfully long time. Initially a rhetoric professor and a National Endowment for the Humanities Scholar, she shed her academic laurels to romp around with a prickle of imaginary hedgehogs.

Thereafter, she's been nominated once for The Best of the Net in poetry, three times for the Pushcart Prize in Literature for poetry, once for the Pushcart Prize in Literature for fiction, once for the Million Writers Award for fiction, and once for the PEN/Diamonstein-Spielvogel Award for the Art of the Essay. To boot, Hannah’s had more than three dozen books published and has served as an editor for several literary journals.

Find out more at her website: <>.