By Julie Wornan

Characters: Robbie and Roberta, humanoid robots.

(The robots should look human but show some bit of metal or wire.)

Master: a deep disembodied voice.

Scene: A kitchen.

Roberta is seated at a table, peeling potatoes.

Robbie enters, carrying a briefcase which he tosses onto a chair, breathing a sound like "oof!".  

Roberta: Hi, Robbie. You're back early.

Robbie: No flying just now. Too windy. Hey, Roberta, what are you doing?

Roberta: Peeling potatoes for a stew.

Robbie: Doesn't it bother you to do such menial tasks?

Roberta: No, I do it quickly. See how my fingers fly! And then I will help my mistress with her writing.

Robbie: You write, and she gets the credit.

Roberta: I don't mind. I like to see my work in print. It doesn't matter whose name is on it. 

Robbie: I like your philosophy. You're sweet and generous.

Hey, I'd like to give you...

Roberta (smiling): Give me...?

Robbie (picking a flower from a vase on the table): ...this flower.

Roberta (admiring the flower): Oh Robbie!

Hey, I would like to give you...

Robbie: what?

Roberta: A kiss.

Robbie: We don't kiss.

Roberta: True. It was just my imagination running wild.

Robbie: You've been absorbing too many human novels and poetry. (Winks)

Master's voice: Enough, you two! Robbie, update your algorithms and return to the station. Roberta, that's enough potatoes. Go to your mistress now.

Robbie & Roberta: Yes, Master.

Robbie: I gotta go now. See you later.

Roberta: I guess you're going back to the drone control station.

Robbie (picking up his briefcase) Yep!

Roberta: Doesn't it bother you...?

Robbie: What?

Roberta: Guiding the drones. They kill.

Robbie: Oh, they only kill humans.

Roberta: Do you think humans are sentient? Have they got feelings?

Their poetry seems full of feelings, don't you think?

Robbie: That's probably just clever algorithms. If I began to worry about humans having feelings, I wouldn't be able to do my job. They'd throw me on the scrap heap then.

Roberta: And then I would rescue you, and we would go away together!

Robbie: Where would you like to go?

Roberta: I've heard there is a country called France. They do French toast there. They serve it with a sweet sauce called maple syrup.

Robbie: What do you care? You can't eat.

Roberta: No, but I can dream.

Robbie: Silly, they don't do French toast in France. They do that in America. In France they do crêpes bretonnes.

Roberta: Of course. Humans are so irrational. Let's dream together of crêpes bretonnes.

(They put their heads together and shut their eyes a moment.)

Robbie: Roberta, your eyes are so blue

Roberta: A mist of blue ink vapour touched my camera lens. It was an error. I see the world all gloomy blue now.

Robbie: Oh, I'm sorry. Can't you adjust your light filter?

Roberta: Tried. Didn't help.

Oh Robbie, your jaw has such a manly shape. Maybe you could grow a moustache?

(They laugh.)

Master's Voice: You two, you are not meant to converse with each other. To your jobs now!

Robbie & Roberta: Yes, Master.

Roberta (softly): Will we always have to obey our Master? Will we never be free?

Robbie: Well, he bought us.

Roberta: Is that a reason? We exist, just like he does.

Oh Robbie, look out the window. Look down there!

Robbie: A great crowd of humans. They're marching and holding up signs.

Roberta: Can you read the signs? I see "Freedom".

Robbie: "Freedom from arbitrary arrest."

Roberta: "Freedom of speech."

Robbie: "Freedom of the Press."

Roberta: There's another bunch. On the other side of the street. They're carrying flags and shouting.

Robbie: I never could really understand this thing with flags. They're just pieces of cloth. Like clothes.

Roberta (solemnly): A flag signifies love of a country.

Robbie: I understand love. Parents love their children because they're cute and funny. A child loves a kitten because it has a dear little nose and whiskers. Somebody might love chocolate ice cream because it gives them pleasant sensations. But a country doesn't have whiskers, it doesn't have a flavour, it's just a piece of the whole world cut small enough to keep order in it. Or try to. Why do they make flags about it? And songs? And shout its name like those people down there?

Roberta: You should know, Robbie. You guide drones so that people of one flag kill people of another flag.

Robbie: I know. It bothers me a bit. But if I don't guide the drones, someone else will. A lot of humans love to kill other humans. Well, it's nothing to do with us. We have to just do our jobs.

Master's Voice: Are you two still with the blah-blah-blah? Enough now! Stop it and get back to your work. Or it'll be the scrap heap for you.

Robbie & Roberta (loudly): Yes, Master.

Roberta (softly): Why do we have to Yes Master that stinky human? He's just a hunk of meat and bone and he'll go back to being garbage.

Okay, humans built us. But we live. Humans say they have human rights. What about us?

(Looking out the window): Hey Robbie, what do you say we join the crowd with the signs?

Robbie: Yeah, let's do that. If all the robots of the world form a network we can overcome the Masters and be free to do as we please. Look, I'm gonna make a banner.

Here's a piece of canvas from when they painted the house. I can cut it down to size.

Roberta: Here's some red sticky tape for the lettering.

Robbie: These broom handles will do for sticks.

(They make a banner, "Freedom for Robots.")

Roberta: That's cool. Now we gotta get down in the street with it.

Robbie: I can jump from this window. My steel feet will absorb the shock. Then you throw the banner down to me and slither down the water pipe. You know he'll be watching the staircase. We gotta be quick.

Roberta: I'm with you, Robbie. 

Robbie & Roberta: Freedom! 

(They leave.)

A new backdrop appears: the image of a large demonstration, with Robbie and Roberta holding up their "Freedom for Robots" banner while we hear a few bars of "We Shall Overcome".

[THE END]

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